Living with the Ego

Life is a union of pain and pleasure

Wisdom is the embracement of this union as a whole. 

~Mathew G~

Written by Mathew Naismith

Through learning from pain instead of suffering from pain have I learnt this lesson well, how could I write such a thing otherwise!!

To a lot of people this won't make sense, and understandably so, for the avoidance of pain to gain as much pleasure as possible in life will lead to this degree of incomprehensibility.

Life is about starting and ending points, birth and death is a prime example. As we know life to be relies on starting and ending points, in relation to love, a starting point of love to an ending point of love. From the starting point of love there is pleasure, at intervals displeasure or pain, this is life as we know it. At the ending point (death) love is of great sorrow or pain. Would you rather not have that love to lose in the first place? With love comes a degree of pain in one way or another.

Be it to humble oneself to life and the union of pain and pleasure.

As a consciousness in the absence of ego would no doubt do, to avoid this would be of an ego in control!!

At no time can a consciousness of the absence of ego avoid not humbling itself to life as we know it, to life's pain and pleasures. Existence as a whole can only exist through union, the union of life and death, pain and pleasure, a state of ego and a state in the absence of ego. To avoid life's pain is obviously of the controlling ego for only does the ego in control desire to control anything. Could you imagine a consciousness in the absence ego desiring or even needing to control anything?

Union simply denotes oneness, a union of life and death, pain and pleasure, a state of ego and a state in the absence of ego. There is no consciousness of the absence of ego without a consciousness of the presence of ego. Look at this way, the perception of heaven gives us an idea of union, as the perception of hell gives us an idea of disunion. One is not without the other while at the same time not being of the other. Hate can exist within love as love can exist within hate, but heaven and hell can't exist within the other.

So if heaven and hell can't exist within the other, it is understandable that a state of the absence of ego and a state of ego don't exist within the other either. This of course doesn't mean the other doesn't exist just because they are not of the other. Because the ego desires to take control, it would certainly seem that any sense of control relates to disunion (hell).

Okay, would honesty be of heaven and hell be of dishonesty (deception)? A dishonest deceptive consciousness will always try to get the ego to take control of what the ego feels. Would this not to only feel pleasure in life? This is while life is a union of pleasure and pain.

I am kidding you not; life is a union of pain and pleasure, not a disunion of pain and pleasure. Any kind of disunion distorts life, possibly leading to the extinction of life.

I have stated before, "Embrace misery", for to only embrace pleasures in the absence of pain will only lead to the extinction of life. There is nothing wrong with life just because it doesn't give us enough pleasure, but for an ego who wants to control its pleasures, life is simply a misery and understandably so. You must embrace both pain and pleasure for one without the other is the extinction of both pain and pleasure, life itself.

You would think a consciousness in the absence of ego would be of the absence of both pain and pleasure therefore life as the ego knows life to be!! 

If your ego desires to be in this state in any sense, you are not consciously of this state but of an ego consciousness. This state of the absence of ego is not a state you desire or even need to be only of. Often a consciousness humbling itself to life's pain and pleasures is of this state while also humbling itself to life as a whole. It is this union, not disunion, of life's pain and pleasures that leads to an awareness of this state. This state is simply of the whole, while at the same time humbling itself to life's pain and pleasures. Life's pain and pleasures, ego, is of this state while, like heaven and hell, are not within each other, this of course doesn't mean one is separate from the other.

A state of ego in not separate to a state of the absence of ego, while at the same time not being of what the other is. But as the ego desires, one is separate therefore a disunion (hell) is created instead of a union (heaven). What have we created with desiring pleasure over pain, the disunion of pain and pleasure? The same is with a state of the absence of ego and a state of ego!!

Manifested Reality

Written by Mathew Naismith

How can we create a more constructive reality for all, not just a few?

It would seem by focusing on the positives will manifest the same, as to focus on the negatives will again manifest the same.

As of anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, by ignoring abuse manifests far more of the same. The abuse at times becomes far more intensive when ignored, especially when deliberately ignored.

So, by deliberately ignoring the abuse (negatives) to manifest more positives, will manifest a more constructive reality for all!!

Yes, when you focus on abuse in the absence of learning from abuse, this kind of focus will most likely manifest much of the same abuse. However, when you focus on abuse in the presence of learning from abuse instead of suffering from abuse, what is most likely to become manifested?

What is most likely to become manifested is open honesty to start with; this is instead of the manifestation of a dishonest reality. The honesty being that by ignoring abuse, especially deliberately, will manifest a more abusive reality, not a less abusive reality. The world around us is becoming far more abusive therefore far more of a destructive reality.

Look people, it is obvious that you cannot deliberately ignore the abuse in the world and still manifest a better human reality. Any deliberate ignorance of abuse will only manifest even more of the same as we are seeing today. Also, any deliberate ignorance of abuse clearly shows that we have not learnt from abuse but are still suffering from abuse.

What often occurs when someone has gone through great trauma? They often block out the said trauma through various means like drugs and alcohol or they simply psychologically withdraw in other ways. We can withdraw as much as we like within our positives, but like a seriously traumatised person, no matter how much we withdraw, the trauma remains. In serious cases, the trauma can manifest into something far worse than what was first traumatically experienced. In all honesty, this is exactly what is occurring around us at present.

When you suffer from abuse, more of the same is being created however when you learn from abuse, what is being created? Something in the absence of abuse is being created or manifested. If you simply look at abuse as being negative of toxic, what will you do, learn or continue suffering from abuse? When you look at abuse as being neither negative nor positive, just something to learn from, what will this manifest?

You can't deliberately ignore abuse to stay positive and manifest a better reality than that of an abusive reality, quite the opposite will obviously occur as we are seeing at present.  

Anna Haize My Dearest

Written by Mathew Naismith

A strange heading, especially considering that I don't know an Anna Haize.

Well, what I am talking about here is from a dream I had last night, where I sang a slow country melodic song to an elderly lady who was crippled from a hard life lived. This ladies name was Anna Haize and the song went sort of like this, "My dearest Anna Haize, how lovely you are, my dearest Anna Haize. You are my darling, my love, my dearest Anna Haize. Life has been hard on you but my love for you is never ending my dear, my dearest Anna Haize. Yes my lovely, you are loved beyond what words can say, my dearest Anna Haize. And so on it went.

When I was singing this song, I held this frail lady in my arms while I levitated and started doing a slow waltz around the eating area of a retirement home. When I first picked up Anna cradled in my arms, the rest of the people in the eating area were in shock and worried. I then started to sing to Anna while in a slow levitated waltz; there was not a dry eye in the room in the end.

Because of Anna's condition, Anna was always in a rigid position. Anna simply melted more and more in my arms as I sang Anna's song to her while doing a slow levitated waltz. At the end of the song and waltz, Anna just simply went into a restful deep sleep within my arms, a sleep she hadn't experienced for some years.

As it is, I have always had a soft spot for people who have legitimately had a hard time of it. When I was working with disabled people, my consideration and care was obvious. When I was asked to dump the disabled to start up another workshop for able bodied people, my consideration and care was greatly diminished, in fact I left that job before the workshop was up and running.  

When I was a healer in ancient Egypt in another life, the underprivileged, mainly the slaves, got my attention. This did not go down well with the privileged as the privileged at all times should come before the underprivileged, as the privileged often think even today. I could never remember doing this in this ancient Egyptian life as a healer. To me it was who was next in line, not that the privileged were always a head of the line. I also looked at the privileged as being also underprivileged, primarily because of their high and mighty stance. The abusers in my mind are as underprivileged as the underprivileged they abuse if not more so, this stance of mine today has not changed.

I look upon human conscious today as a whole as an Anna Haize, a crippled up consciousness, a consciousness that has had a very hard time of it, be it of their own making. As it is, a lost consciousness lost within their own creation, even though this consciousness is unaware of this, is of Anna Haize. This consciousness is worth my attention even though it will fight against me all the way, unlike Anna Haize, my dearest.

It is often mistakenly thought that dreaming relates to over thinking. Yes, this can be the case but most often dreams relate to the energy around you, this is why certain dreams can be foretelling. Last night I had a lot of levitating dreams, more than usual, Anna Haize was one of a number of vivid levitating dreams I experienced last night.           

A Separation of Energy/Consciousness

Written by Mathew Naismith

Yes, there is a separation of energies, but one not need to worry about this separation as long as the soul is not conditioned to materialism.

So many souls are now being primarily or exclusively conditioned to materialism, it is though the immaterial part of the soul never existed. Yes, even after the demise of the material self, material reality still can exist for souls primarily or exclusively conditioned to materialism through the attachments to material realities. The gap between souls also of the immaterial and souls primarily or exclusively of materialism is growing, giving a sense of separation of soul energies. To put it another way, when our souls are conditioned to material realities, our souls are no longer the observer but simply become a participator. The observing soul is of the immaterial, while observing the material, where the participating soul is of the material in the absence of the observer.

Observing soul = the immaterial while aware of the material, oneness.

Participating soul = the material while unaware of the immaterial, but also, only aware of the material that is desired to become aware of thus creating a further separation of energy. Lost souls.

It is impossible for the immaterial observer to separate immaterial energy from material energy. This includes not separating energy into positives and negatives, good and bad, wrong and right, black and white, etc, which seems to be very popular in today western spirituality.

Even today when I approach souls wholly conditioned to materialism, there is no negative or positive perceptions, just simply a perception of a soul simply lost within its own creation. I am often smiling at this point in realisation of how unaware such a soul has become. To a soul that is lost, this would be called narcism, an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself, when this is simply a state of awareness and immaterialism in observation of the material.

While a soul is also in observation of the material, even of their own participation in the material, there is no sense of separation, just an observation of lost soul's perception of the separation of energies. At no time are material realities not being observed, this means that perceptions of separation of energies are illusionary. You can't create for which is not being observed, for in observation is everything created. 

So the egos query might now be, so this means the observer created material illusions as well!!

The observing soul simply observes what the soul participates in. Often an illusion is created through the observed participation when souls become primarily or exclusively conditioned to materialism. Lost souls cannot exist in the absence of observation of participation. It is the observation of participation that creates lost souls. If you like, nothing can exist unless of God's creation. If all observing souls observed souls primarily or exclusively conditioned to the immaterial, the existence of lost souls simply couldn't exist.

So why doesn't the immaterial soul just stop observing lost souls?

Ignorance or an unawareness in relation to desires is of a soul in participation, not of a soul in observation. An observing soul doesn't desire or even choose what to observe, the observing soul observes all of what is and could be, which includes lost souls existing in an illusion of separated energy. It is simply observed that souls have and will become lost to materialism. This was always going to occur when souls also become a participator, especially when a soul becomes primarily or exclusively conditioned to materiam.

As there has always been it would seem, a number of people stay aware of the soul and the immaterial, while also aware and even participating in the material. The separation of souls has eventuated through quite a number of souls becoming primarily or exclusively conditioned to the material. It would seem that a soul primarily or exclusively conditioned to the material will become lost, lost within its own creation of materialism, often in the absence of the immaterial. You could say in the absence of the divine if you like.

To me, it is wise that a soul keeps a balance between the material and the immaterial while in participation of the material. One way or the other often leads to a soul becoming lost it would seem. Yes, even souls primarily or exclusively conditioned to the immaterial can also become lost, while in participation of the material. In the absence of balance, there can only be imbalance. This imbalance to me can only lead to souls becoming lost within their own creation.

For myself, at times I find it quite difficult in maintaining this balance, for so often I become too much of a participator in the absence of the observer. You know what, this is called being human. There is nothing wrong in experiencing a lost soul, it is just when the soul becomes excessively lost is when the human self and even the soul becomes destructive unto itself and everything else. Lucky for humans, there seems to be souls that are not lost right throughout human history, the trick is, all we need is the wisdom to listen to them. 

Focus on the Ego

Written by Mathew Naismith

Could you imagine someone being thankful for the pain they experience, most people would perceive that to be thankful for the pain they experience is of self-harm or even satanic. It is not the pain itself you become thankful for but in how you cope with pain.

In very recent times, my wife and I have been at the receiving end of a great deal of intentional abuse by a person who we thought was close to us. As it turned out, we were being abused for some years now by this person.

Intentional abuse is often build upon desired truths, lies and deceit, where unintentional abuse could be simply telling the truth in how it is, not how we would desire the truth to be told. Also, if a person is going through trauma and is abusive, this abuse is often unintentional, this is quite different to a person who desires to believe they are or where hard done by.  In this case the trauma experienced is fabricated, however, the trauma this fabrication creates is real, within their own sense.

My own ego was greatly hurt by what we experienced, but my wife was devastated which added to my own hurt. You must remember, only the ego can feel pain, yes, especially physical pain. The more pain we experience, the more the ego is in control so how can anyone be thankful for this but the ego in control? In our relation, if you hurt one, you hurt the other, even to a greater extent which this person has no idea of as their own life experiences are limited to their fabricated childhood traumas it would seem.

There are people who can mange physical pain, as I have myself done to a certain extent, to the extent that they feel no physical or mental pain. Your physical body and mind is a representation of ego, as of all motion is, this is why so many spiritual practices are about quietening the mind (motion). The human mind is all to do with motion therefore ego. By being thankful for pain is actually taking away a lot of the motion pain expresses. I am really thankful what pain has made me aware of, for I learn from life instead of suffering from life.

So what is actually doing the learning here? The ego of course, there is nothing else that has to become aware or learned. My own ego is thankful for the pain because I learn from the pain and not suffer from the pain. Yes, I still suffer from pain but end up learning from this pain. As for the person who intentionally abused us for so long, they have not learnt to not suffer from pain, in truth, exasperate this pain even further. Yes, they feel good in their abuse towards us, they feel they have won the day, but unknowingly to themselves, their real suffering has just begun.

Don't get me wrong, my ego is still bewildered at how the ego itself can be thankful for pain, but my ego is aware this is better than suffering from pain. As I have had a chronic injury since I was six years old, I know about physical and mental pain. I am so thankful for learning from all this pain instead of just simply suffering from all this pain, of course all this pain is simply only of the ego (motion), nothing else.

This will sound even stranger to a lot of people; I can even appreciate suffering from pain, for to not be appreciative of the suffering of pain is to suffer from pain!!

When the ego starts to learn from the suffering of pain, instead of suffering from the suffering of pain, is when the human ego has reached a certain point of conscious awareness beyond suffering. Of course trying to simply escape this pain in any sense is to still suffer from this pain. Pain must be embraced to move on from the suffering of pain, this is very important.

Because my wife and I are now to the point of not suffering the abuse of this person, we are at the point of learning from this abuse. Of course one of the lessons of learning from abuse is to not keep on suffering from abuse. You learn and move on from abuse, you don't stay with the abuse to be abused more, as the ego in control desires to do.

Yes, again you embrace pain, but this time not to suffer from pain but for your ego to learn from pain. "Pain is negatives therefore something to avoid at all cost."  Yes, avoid the suffering in the absence of learning from the suffering of pain, but don't avoid learning from the suffering of pain!!  So many are simply avoiding pain altogether, they will certainly avoid learning from the suffering of pain, so what was all this pain about?

When our ego starts to learn from suffering from pain, our consciousness enters into a new stage of awareness. If we continue to suffer from the suffering of pain, our consciousness will simply suffer instead of becoming aware. In other words our consciousness, our ego controlled consciousness, will not become enlightened but stay unenlightened.

Ego creates dense matter, as of the universe, which also creates a dense (dumb) mind/consciousness, consciousness of the ego that is unenlightened, unaware, until awakened. Remember, the only thing that can become aware or enlightened is the ego, so ignoring this because it is negative in any sense will do what? It certainly won't lead to enlightenment of a consciousness or ego.

Yes I know, if you harp on about or focus on the negatives, the ego, all you will do is manifest even more negatives!! If you focus on the suffering of pain and only suffer from this instead of learning from this, this is true, but if you learn from this suffering by not simply ignoring the negatives, a consciousness can't help but become more aware. You are not learning therefore becoming more aware if the ego is ignored because it is negative. This is why the ego needs to learn to embrace even the suffering of the ego, to finally let it all go. Simply ignoring the negative ego is only going the manifest more of what a negative ego creates, suffering from suffering.

Try to remember, it is only the ego that can become aware or enlightened, be it judged negative or positive, but of course only can the ego judge in negatives and positives thus creating more separation of consciousness energy.                                    

That For Which Seems Lost

Written by Mathew Naismith

 To lose something that you never

had to lose in the first place to be lost!!

Sounds funny doesn't it? To lose something you thought you could lose if lost. Think of it this way. A couple are married and one of the couple believes the other partner is as deeply in love as they are. After awhile this turns out not to be true. The question is, can one lose someone's love that never really existed before hand? It can if the partner believes their love was reciprocated.

In all honesty though, you can't really lose what you never had to lose in the first place, even when it feels you have lost. In all practicality you had nothing to lose in the first place. It is handy to think philosophically like this when you feel a loss in this way, "I didn't have it in the first place to have lost it"!!

I actually go further with this, in that material life itself isn't something I have or own to be able to lose in the first place, therefore life itself can't be lost to me.

So why do we feel a loss even when we didn't really have the loss to lose in the first place?

Possession = The act of having and controlling property, and, Anything owned or possessed

The feeling of owning something has to do with control. In relation to love, an expected or desired return of love to the same degree. Sadly, often marriage is seen as an ownership so expectations become of desires and of course our desires often have control of over us. It would seem control gives us something to lose even when we don't have anything to become lost in the first place.

How many people today think they have to take control? In this case there is always someone else trying to take control by controlling you, leading to a vicious endless cycle of ownership of control.

Yes, I can feel a material loss, but I know that no material possession really belonged to me to lose in the first place. Sadly, love is often treated as a material possession or something expected or demanded from others. Do I expect to be loved by my wife? No, my wife's love is simply something given by her but not owned by me, it is simply a blessing.        

A State of Common Order

Written by Mathew Naismith

"Oh my gosh, my ego, what a bewildering anomaly you are."

Anomaly in this case means a deviation from common order, being common order for souls like mine, a true awareness of the ego to one extent or another. A common order of the presence of awareness in the absence of bias and desire.

Being aware while of the absence of as much bias and desire is common order, all else from this is of disorder. Today, the world around us at present seems to be primary based on bias/prejudice and desire, of course from this disorder is created as we are seeing. Yes, we are sitting within our western country safe havens, while so many other countries are subjected to disorder from these safe haven countries, but this is not common order. Why? Because the disorder orchestrated by safe haven countries is of pure ignorance, for only in ignorance can a consciousness become disorderly and destructive.

If I sit within my own personal safe haven, often staying ignorant to anything that is negative to this haven, would I not also be orchestrating disorder? Any kind of ignorance, especially of deliberate ignorance to serve a desire or a bias/prejudice, is of disorder, not common order. Is this not also of the orchestrating of disorder? The ego in control will of course refute this to the bitter end, usually in fear of losing a bias and/or desired reality, as opposed to a reality of common order where biases and desires have no control over the ego or soul.

Imagine a state of common order, where bias and desire has no control, so very hard for the ego in control to imagine. It is not easy for the ego to become enlightened, for only is it that the ego becomes enlightened, especially to itself. A state of common order has nothing to enlighten, only can the ego become enlightened, especially an ego of bias and desire, control.

I recently vividly dreamt of carrying many rifles. Guns mean in this case an injustice to me and/or someone else in my close circle. The carrying is of carrying this injustice until my ego can resolve the biases and desires of the person of obvious orchestrated disorder, in this case injustice and abuse. The person orchestrating an injustice upon my wife and I became apparent, our egos became very hurt as this person is very close to us. My vivid dreams are often foretelling, as of anyone's.

As my own ego is aware of, you can only hurt for which is of the ego. No consciousness of common order can become hurt in any circumstance. This means that this kind of aware consciousness can experience any kind of environment without the threat of becoming disorderly, of a state of the controlling ego. Sitting within our safe havens, be it collectively as a country or personally, isn't of common order but disorder. Of course being of disorder your egos will indeed fear being of any other kind of environment.

Even though my ego reacts to disorder, my ego is aware that it can experience any kind of environment without fear of losing what the ego desires to only experience. As of many egos even today, they sit within their common order while comfortably experiencing an environment of disorder. This state isn't a safe haven, for only the ego can experience a safe haven; it is simply a state of common order in plain view of the ego. My ego at present isn't this aware but aware enough to quell the control the ego could have over me, my own ego is satisfied with this.

For only the ego in control will try to lead the horses, other egos, to water and try to make them drink, become of common order again, this includes your own ego. 

For reference to any ego who thinks I have once again plagiarised, you will simply think as you desire to.......