What I Am

Written by Mathew Naismith 

Many fear me for I am not what is expected.

I am all of what is but nothing simultaneously.

It is understandably difficult to comprehend me at the best of times.

My power and control is resolute and infinite in nature but at the same time I am neither powerful nor controlling.

What I am is difficult to say for within myself there is no need or desire to know what I am.

I am just being within what is expected but at the same time being what isn't expected.

The ego is of me but not of me simultaneously as I am of motion and motionlessness.

The ego sees me as something grandiose and all powerful; all I see of me is everything but nothing.

To the ego, I am it's higher self. To me, I am no higher than everything I am which is everything.

Is being everything without exception of a higher stature for the ego to aspire to?

Only the ego can answer this for only the ego aspires towards anything when we are already everything. Of course the ego only desires to be what it desires to be which is a very tiny part of everything!!

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We would simply be lying to ourselves if we said we are not in fear of ourselves, for only the ego is of the ego in fear of itself. The ego expects one thing only, ego, nothing more and nothing less is expected, just simply ego. Fear simply does not exist past the ego, so to be in fear of the unexpected is ego in fear of itself. It's the expected that gives the ego it's fear of the unexpected for only can the ego control what is expected.

Being in a state of pure awareness is being of everything without exception. In this state we are being all of what is but in the process being nothing, only in the perception of the separation of everything can being everything not be of nothing. What happens when yin and yang act as one? Nothing. What then happens when yin and yang act as two? Everything, we are therefore simultaneously everything but nothing because yin and yang always act as one as well as two.

Now how do we, the ego, comprehend that we are everything and nothing at the same time? The ego simply can't comprehend anything beyond the ego, so nothing can't exist for the ego but it does. When you can truly comprehend a state of pure awareness, you are at that point being everything but also nothing for only in separation is there something. There is absolutely no separation within this pure aware state; everything simply becomes nothing, as one instead of two.

Only when we perceive we are everything is when the ego is all powerful and controlling, the ego often aspires to this higher level. However, when we are also able to perceive this everything is also nothing, only at this point are we aware that their no control or power to be had, there is simply no need.

The ego expects to have a need of power and control. The unexpected simply has no need of such things for the ego is unable to control the unexpected, only when the unexpected becomes the expected is there a need for power and control. How do you control nothing? This is why the ego is in fear of itself, for only in ego can fear exist; control and fear simply can't exist without each other and neither can the ego. The ego doesn't actually fear nothingness or the unexpected, it actually fears itself.

So what am I? We are simultaneously everything but nothing, of course the ego will understandably have problems comprehending this as always..........