Written by Mathew Naismith
Seeing it as it is, not how I would desire
to see it, gets me into a lot of trouble with other people. It is like with
love, just because I don't desire to feel the affects of love, in other words
lust after what the feelings of love gives to the ego, I am not of love. I
simply don't desire to feel the affects of love but allow these feelings to
naturally exist, without effort, within certain conscious states. It is natural
that within certain conscious states, the ego will experience feelings of love,
giving the ego a false ideology that these states are simply of love.
I also don't desire being positive over and
above being negative, in all honesty, I simply allow myself to be neutral as
much as possible. I have learnt so much from the so-called negatives, way more
than from the positives. In all honesty, my ego has learnt from these
experiences instead of suffering from these experiences. To me, to suffer from
an experience is to counteract a negative experience with a positive
experience. This is the same in counteracting hate with love, most often to the
same degree or to the same excess. Within this, one to me is still suffering
from the collective consciousness experience rather than learning from the collective
conscious experience.
How shocking it was practicing in
cannibalism or going to see people fight to the death in a Roman arena, but it
is alright to deliberately make people ill so you can live/feed off of them. I recently
read an article in how doctors who dared find cancer enzymes in vaccines
systematically died/murdered. And how many people are fighting for there very
existence, not just in wars but materialistically? The whole planet has become
an arena that was deliberately created to serve the few materialistically. In
all honesty, are we learning from what human consciousness has experienced or
are we still suffering from these experiences?
I will always be hated or despised for my honesty;
I would rather this than the alternative of course. Simply, self-dishonesty
isn't an alternative for people like me, we must see it how it is, not how our
egos would desire to see it. As I am not into separation as in black and white
people instead of just people, I am not into negatives and positives. Don't' be
conned by the controlling ego that desires to separate through perceptions of
black and white, negative and positive perceptions, negative and positives are
simply perceptions created by the ego. You really don't need to be positive,
just not negative, within this you will be able to see everything for what it
really is, not how the ego desires to only see it, in black and white,
negatives and positives!!